I’ve been battling for a long time with how to write this post in a manner that is polite and respectful, because the topic is controversial. After much time spent deliberating, pondering, considering and analyzing the best way on how to do this, I chose to confront the issue directly, so please forgive me if my tone seems offensive. It is not meant to.
Since the beginning of my life in SL, I’ve taken the position that people choose to represent themselves here in whatever skin they choose to. Whether they are women playing as men, men playing as women, or gender queer people choosing to represent themselves in SL as they feel instead of how their RL bodies are, that is a decision that is theirs and theirs alone; it is not my place to judge it, but to accept it.
When I came to SL, there were many people who got very upset when they suspected your RL gender did not match the gender of your avatar. It’s a reasonable human behaviour, and I place no fault on those people who, recently or in the past, have told me I am not what I seem to be. It is my fault after all: Growing up, I was surrounded by boys. At school, there were more boys than girls; in the family, being an only child, I had to deal with two older cousins, who never left me alone; and most of my teachers were male. So I had to either collapse under the male pressure or become a little like them, so to speak. I chose the latter, and became a bit of a tomboy, with a higher-than-average resistence to horse play, and a more concise, to the point style of communication. To this day, my coworkers tell me I am too terse sometimes; especially the other women. I tell them, “when you grow up surrounded by boys, some of their cooties rub off on you” and I smile.
I’ve come to accept who and what I am — that’s what my environment made me to be. If I seem to be too much of a virago to you, maybe you should look elsewhere, because I am most certainly not the woman you’re looking for. I know who I am. I know what I am. I need not explain myself to you, nor demonstrate who I am to anyone. If that is too much for you, I could care more, and I feel for you, for not having the strength, clarity or respect to accept and respect people.