I have been doing a lot of introspecting over the past few weeks; that introspection involved thinking hard about what I am, who I am, and what do I need as a person.
The conclusions were interesting, in fact they were an upending of what I have believed to be the truth for many years. As most of my friends and family know, before being a Dominant, I was submissive.
I came to Dominance as part of my path after my Mistress at the time and I parted ways in an amicable way. Learning the kink lifestyle as a submissive gave me patience and an insight into what the three wonderful persons in my life who have submitted to me need, and most importantly a sense of respect for them; because most of all, I respect their immense strength, unwavering loyalty, selfless devotion, and unconditional love.
Seeing that, day after day, made me realize just how much I, too, need to feel that. In short – I need a Dominant in my life.
As much as I enjoy being the beacon to which my girls look up to, I, too, feel the need to have someone to whom I can look up to, to whom I can give my own strength, show my passion, dedicate my loyalty, selflessly devote myself to, and love without reservations. Because deep down, under the layers of Dominance, my heart and soul also yearn to serve. I never stopped being submissive; I just learned to not show it – because too many would abuse of what I yearn to give.