Here’s another post from 2015 that I find still relevant today, so it goes here instead of the archives.
Often times the conversations I attend to that speak about D/s within the SL metaverse seem to gravitate towards one big two sided argument. Namely, sub duties and dom rights.
It seems to me that that is a trite argument, it has been discussed to death and then some. So I want to push the envelope, so to speak, and continue the trail blazing started by Lex Berchot with her post on submissive rights, and talk about dominant responsibilities.
What? Responsibilities? For a dominant? Really, Anne, have you lost your mind?
I have not lost my mind.
Just like submissives have rights and responsibilities within a D/s relationship, dominants too have them. Doms have the right to do as they please. But the flip side of such an apparent, limitless power is a whole lot of responsibilities.
The first one is to care for your charge. Be there for him or her. Listen to what he or she has to say, don’t snub him or her with a nod and save your comments for the post dungeon phase. After a good session, your sub may be too gone to his or her head space to be able to talk about much at all.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, caring for your sub does not pass through using the hell out of your charge. Sexually or otherwise. It goes through actively engaging him or her so he or she can express what goes on in his or her head in safety. That can and usually does include housing issues, emotional conundrums, insecurities or just plain needing a friendly ear to listen.
The third duty, the one that is least obvious but most important, is to be an empowering influence in your charge’s life.
We as dominants are taking charge of a living, breathing person. All of his or her problems, hopes, aspirations, desires and dreams become a part of our own, from the moment when he or she says “please collar me” to the moment he or she says “please release me”. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: It takes two to tango.
Our greatest duty is this one: To be the role model, the good, outstanding citizen our charge can look up to, to provide the tools to empower our charge to better him or herself and lead a successful life. This duty is so important to my eyes that I’d classify it as the sacred, God-mandated duty of any real dominant out there. Fail in performing this one sacred duty, and you’re just being a kinkster. Not a dominant. Being a dominant is not about the sex. It is about being a Force of Change.